If you are clever enough, you’ll even get cool bonuses for lopping off more than three zombies’ heads in a row. You’ll even find goth kids, which in my personal belief make the best ‘squishy’ sound when you smash their skulls in with your magical fists of furry. They’ll charge you like you’re a quarterback, while baseball players will take quick swings at your skull, hoping for a homer. At one level you’ll fight a bunch of jocks-turned-zombies. You will fight through various environments and against an assortment of super dumb enemies-I mean, super dumb. I suppose some people get a kick out of this stuff: “Hey, I saw someone say ‘hit me baby one more time’ once, I totally get it!” Maybe the developers were trying to make the pop culture references so annoying that it made up for the mediocre gameplay. After nearly every graceful kill Juliet said some one-liner from a dumb pop song, or a dumb TV show, or a dumb movie. What I found more annoying was how inundated I was with dumb pop culture references. I could probably go off about how dumb it is for a game to focus so much on boobs and upskirt camera angles, but that’s just the crotchety old man speaking, not the sort-of-older gamer speaking. There’s a level of sexism in the protagonist, the overtly sexual cheerleader zombie hunter Juliet Starling, which makes it hard to believe we would see a mainstream game like this in 2012 that wasn’t a spoof. If that sounds too mean, note that Grasshopper is probably doing this on purpose. Your enjoyment playing Lollipop Chainsaw is largely dictated on your tolerance of things commonly perceived by the general population as obnoxious-if you don’t mind soul-piercing voices, short but repetitive actions, and the absurd for the sake of absurdity than you may-may-like Lollipop Chainsaw. No matter how much I wanted to laugh at the pop-culture one-liners, or enjoy the excessive gore, I was constantly reminded that this is a super obnoxious game, full of obnoxious characters, obnoxious camera angles, obnoxiously repetitive levels, and obnoxious controls. Or maybe you wanted to check out Grasshopper Manufacture’s latest slapstick-infused gore fest. When you imagine a ditzy-Britney Spears-cheerleader-inspired zombie hunter who dons as little clothing as possible, you may be mildly intrigued. Lollipop Chainsaw is one of the most obnoxious games I’ve ever played.

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